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Fair Fighting
Here are some guidelines that can
help you when you have to
solve a
problem in a relationship.
Set up a time to talk-
this way the person doesn’t feel
ambushed.
Approach the other person when you are both in
a good mood. Weekly meetings also
work well.
One topic at a time! If other issues come up,
set up a
different time to talk about it.
Take a time out - Notice when
you are angry and take time
to cool off. If you don’t, you may say or do
something you
regret.
No yelling, hitting, threatening, throwing things, etc.
Attack the problem, not the person-
It’s not about who’s
right, its about solving the problem.
No mind-reading.
You should be clear and say what you
need.
Really listen.
Don’t think about what you’re gonna say
when they stop talking, or listen to find flaws in their
argument. Listen and repeat back what the person said.
Use “I messages”
Don’t blame the other person. Here’s
the format:
When you...(describe the behavior– be specific!)
I feel... (use a word like happy, irritated, scared...)
Because... (explain how the behavior affects you)
I want...(describe change- be specific!)
Example:
When you leave dirty dishes in the sink,
I feel annoyed,
Because then I can’t cook in the morning.
I want you to clean your dishes after you use them.
Don’t take things too seriously.
A disagreement doesn’t
have to be the end of the world. You can work it out!
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6/18/2010
New Workshops for Therapists and Counselors
This summer and fall, I will be leading workshops for mental health professionals:
The Healer's Star:Finding
Balance in the Helping Professions
The
Mythology of Psychotherapy: Stories That Speak to Our Work
The
Human Star: Connecting to Core. When Helping Others
For more information on these workshops, go to the Summer Workshops page on this site. Updates, including time, dates, and locations are forthcoming!
6/5/2010
New Blog!
Introducing my new blog, Case Notes from the Mental Hygienist. This blog will look at current events from a mental health viewpoint, providing insight into relationships, self-esteem, and the world. Feel free to take a peek here.
6/1/2010
IBP Training Update
I have just finished my second year of Integrative Body Psychotherapy training at the IBP Central Institute in Santa Monica, CA. I have completed the basic training and will move onto advanced work in the fall. Integrative Body Psychotherapy is a dynamic, enlivening approach to counseling that helps people create the most satisfying, joyful lives that they can. Therapists are witnesses, guides, and mentors, not professionals who try to "fix" what is "wrong" in a person. Not only that, but IBP counselors are required to work on their own personal issues, using breath, movement and mindfulness to let go of emotional blocks. I have personally and professionally been transformed by this work. Look here for more information on the therapeutic orientation and the Institute. Enjoy!
2/1/2010
Panel Discussion
At this year's Pantheacon, I will be part of an exciting panel discussion: Towards a Pagan Psychology: Earth Based Spirituality and Therapy, with therapists Deborah Oak and Valerie Cole.
1/20/2010
Paper Presentation
On January 30, I will be presenting a a paper at the Current Pagan Studies Conference at the Claremont Graduate University in Claremont, CA. This year's conference focus is sustainability, and my paper is titled "The Sustainability of the Self: Pagan Practices for Psychological Development". The Keynote speakers for the conference are T. Thorn Coyle and Don Michael Kraig.
For more information, look here, here, and here.
9/1/2009
Career News
Woodbury University, located in Burbank, CA, is an art, design, and business college for undergraduate and graduate students. I will have the honor of working there as a psychotherapist in Counseling Services for the academic 2009-2020 year. I'm very excited to be a part of the Woodbury Community!
I will also be continuing my private practice in Los Angeles and the San Fernando Valley.
5/11/2009
New Summer Workshops
I am currently scheduling new experiential workshops for Summer and Fall 2009. These spiritually oriented workshops share the theme of joy and healing, and they are available to everyone. Some even include singing and dancing! All are open to people of all ages and abilities. For more information, take a look at the Summer Workshops 2009 page here.
4/1/2009
Body Talk in Southern California
Body Talk is an effective alternative healing method, and it is now available in Southern California. My preferred practitioner is able to do in-person sessions as well as phone sessions. For more information, look at the Body Talk letter here or the Links page here.
10/10/2009
Integrative Body Psychotherapy
This year I have begun a three year training certificate in Integrative Body Psychotherapy,(IBP online). This system of psychotherapy utilizes breath and body movement to release emotional and mental blockages. The Theory was developed by Jack Lee Rosenberg and others (more information here). As I am learning this new psychotherapeutic orientation, I will be integrating it in my current practice. Stay tuned!
9/6/2008
New Links
Are you looking for more than just psychotherapy? Find out more about books, yoga, Body Talk and more on the Links page here.
10/16/07
Enhancing Your Sexuality
New Article
For anyone interested in their own sexuality or are looking to improve their relationships, this article can help. Designed as a list of ideas, this article will be added onto regularly. Look for the notice of new ideas here in the news and in the article.
01/09/07
SUPPORT GROUPS for MFT Interns and Trainees
Everyone deserves support, especially those who care for others.
Becoming and MFT can take much time and effort. We provide education,
nuturing, and a system of support in our groups. We discuss licensing
and internships, develop life management and stress reduction skills,
and honor psychotherapy's rites of passage. Groups are now forming in
Los Angeles and San Fernando Valley. Call or email for more information.
12/31/06
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS
New Article
Planning on making a resolution this year? Take a look at some new
ideas in the Articles section. They give you a fresh perspective on an
old tradition.
12/20/06
LIVING WITH AN ADDICT
New Article
Are you having problems with someone you care about using alcohol or
other drugs? Find out what you can do to help yourself now at Therapist
Finder. Go to www.therapistfinder.com/c_addiction.aspx
and find the List of Articles. There you will find "Living With and Addict" and other helpful information.
05/09/06
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Greetings
and welcome to this website! Here you can find counseling options,
presentation topics, and educational information. Keep checking in to
see new events, articles, and links. Enjoy!
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